Sh!t My Boyfriend Says

"By the end if this movie I’m going to be Anne Hathaway in the corner."

"I don’t have a spirit animal. I have spirit food. It’s spaghetti."

"If I ever have a clothing company it’s going to be QRML, “Caramel”."

"I’m a man. Men don’t fucking take their dresses off."

"It tastes like a grimer and a muk snowballing a jigglypuff"

"If I don’t get a compliment every five minutes I turn into a raging bitch."

"Sometimes I picture Naomi Campbell sleeping in a meat locker with lots of hanging meat that she can gnaw on"

"Quick, let’s do something annoyingly couply right now…like watch tv."

"If you mess with the bull you get it’s dick in your butt. Happy Valen-dick-tine’s Day, valentine."

"You and your fat man titties can’t go anywhere."